Our Day 1 - COVID19: Work, Life, and Routines

Work, Life, and Routines

I'm blogging this in a retrospective manner and mostly for my family. I've been thinking much about it ever since my brother Steve not only encouraged me but asked me early on to share our experience. I was unsure where to begin and kept putting it off. I kept thinking, "At what moment does our experience with this pandemic start?" I came to the realization, that just as epidemiologists trace and continue to trace the origin and the spread of COVID-19, I too had to trace where my family's experience begins with this new current reality. It didn't start when my husband received his test results, but a couple of weeks before.

DAY 1: Our day 1 is a combination of moments, days, conversations that lead to my husband's departure and return between the end of February and beginning of March.


My husband took the day off the previous day not just because he needed to finish packing and get ready for his work trip but because we had also purchased a new mattress the previous weekend. We had been discussing purchasing a new bed for 4 years now. I kept pushing off the big purchase every year convincing my spouse we were fine. Granted, we complained about not sleeping well and in my case, especially during and after my pregnancy, the back pains were not enjoyable. My best friend Catherine had recently purchased a new mattress. As I enjoy doing with my closest and dearest friends, we had discussed the pros and cons of different beds as well as the costs! It's a major purchase that should never be done lightly. My husband after hearing me have these conversations over the phone suggested we should check out some mattresses as well. He said, we're only looking, we don't have to buy anything. I'm always nervous about making big purchases. I could get into the reasons of why, but that's another blog post. Well, "looking" turned into finding and purchasing. So here he was, the Friday before his trip waiting for the delivery of our new purchase as he packed and got everything in order for his over seas trip. His excitement was twofold: he was going to a country he had never been before and he was going to sleep, if only for one night, in the new mattress.


His mom kept jokingly reminding him the day before and the day he left that she was not going to see him for two weeks after he returned because of the Corona-virus. Though she was joking she was also quite serious. She was worried. She does not like to get sick. I don't blame her. It is because of my husband's family that I take being sick seriously. If you have the common cold, stay home, don't get others sick. People depend on their livelihoods. All of us do. It's called being aware. However, working until you drop seems to be a cultural trophy of sorts in our country and unfortunately, in many others as well. Or, we don't have an option. Cultural reasons as well? I know I don't stay home either. We all worry about our jobs, our careers, about others expressing displeasure for missing a day of work. All of us at some point or another have experienced that frown or flippancy from supervisors,  coworkers, and even family members. To assuage her worries, my husband insisted he would be fine. After all, both his flights would be direct flights with no layovers and moreover, the country he was traveling to was not a high risk area.

There is always nervousness that accompanies trips, whether they be local, regional, national, or abroad. We all feel nervous, worried, giddiness, sadness, excitement, and so forth when we travel or a loved one travels. Taking a trip is a combination of feelings not just for the person traveling but for those that stay behind.  We, my three year old and myself, dropped my husband off at the airport in the middle of the day that weekend. My husband made sure to kiss and hug us good-bye. Though we knew he'd be back soon, it was a bittersweet moment. After all, he would be and was gone for almost two weeks.

My son and I had to change our morning and evening routines quite a bit. He had to wake up a lot earlier and I was making it to work, through rush hour, just barely on time. My husband was working long hours but was also enjoying the experience of a culturally different region. After he completed his job assignment he stayed a few extra days to meet up with his college roommate. It had been almost 20 years since they had last seen each other.

My husband checked out of his hotel and stayed with his friend the remainder of his trip. His friend, let's call him Jeff, had just returned from a skiing trip with friends of his. During the week I made sure to speak with my husband, even if just for a few minutes, at noon every day during my lunch break. When we spoke he told me that Jeff was sick, probably due to all the partying he did while on vacation. We laughed about it and reminisced about the single life over the phone. He said they were going out to dinner that evening and that they'd figure out what to do the following day. It all depended on how Jeff was feeling. Well, they only went out for lunch the next day because Jeff wasn't feeling too well.  He was tired and appeared to have the flu.

After staying with Jeff for a few days my husband was more than ready to return home and be back to his normal routine. As you can probably imagine, back at home, we're beyond excited to see him. We had missed him. Our routine would be back to normal.

Well, as you can deduce by now, it didn't turn out quite that way.

Meanwhile, in the news, the Corona-virus was still something that was only happening abroad or definitely not in our community. Our local, state, and federal officials weren't necessarily showing much concern. At least not enough that our news outlets were dedicating a 24 hour cycle to the corona-virus epidemic. Yes, the news mentioned it, and it would discuss Washington State and its corona-virus spread, but it all seemed so far removed, nothing that had to do with our home, our family, our community, our State. For everyone that was following their day-to-day routines and not necessarily reading, watching, or listening to the news, this seemed like something that was just part of the news. At work, it was being mentioned through emails (I think I received at least one email per week) but not through active conversations. The email memos and briefs encouraged us to be aware and remind our students about washing their hands. We made sure to have tissue and hand sanitizer in the classrooms. Check, check, check. These guidelines however are the norm in schools. But we all know that children do get sick and that they also come to school even when it's just the common cold. Yet, it still didn't feel real. For them and even for me. The children would make jokes. Someone would sneeze and they would blurt out "corona-virus!" They obviously were quite aware of what was happening outside our community, but it wasn't just yet real.

So here I am again, post proposal blues

If you've reached this post today it's probably because you're in the proposal stage for your dissertation. In my department you proposal a research project and then attempt to defend your prospective research before you start writing your dissertation. It's an odd process...

I was there writing and then defending, several months ago and am I so glad it's finally over! It is sort of over, it's never truly over. My suggestion is to keep pushing forward and to take it one moment at a time. I say moment because these moments can vary in hours or days, and these elusive working moments can (and sometimes don't) offer a feeling of accomplishment. It's important to remember that every little bit you do gets you closer to your goal: defending your proposal. Staring at your screen with your open document is a little something, believe it or not. In my case staring eventually helped me reach a point of frustration and forced me to find some other activity, such as working out, in which I could either forget about my work or think about what I wanted to write. I would return at some point with some sense of rejuvenation. And of course, the cycle continued until the document was submitted for a final review before defending.

Then there was the preparing for the defense, what will the committee members ask? Everything. Everything because you will soon notice that some members read your document thoroughly while others did not. So all sorts of questions become game. When you're in that conference room keep calm as best you can, let the questions come and be ready for those questions that make no sense and make you want to shake your head in amazement.

After defending my proposal I was exhausted. Drained. Apathetic. Detached. Sad about all these feelings. I wanted to feel elated. Instead I wanted to run as far away as possible, not talk about it, and think of other career options. I still want to run away, not talk about it, and DO think of other career options. My proposal writing process was long and grueling with constant blows to my intellectual self-esteem and especially future! Oh, that uncertain future how it can hunt one so... So, that's why I keep reminding myself, take it moment by moment.

I had and have the blues and maybe with no love involved, though that's debatable. I love the topic I'm writing about even if everyone (friends and family) can't figure out (even after I offer context and explanations) why I think it's so important.

So here I am again. Trying to write, the feeling never goes away of needing to get this done. I've started this first chapter several times. I haven't gotten past several pages and the first introductory paragraph is constantly being edited. Goodbye dear proposal, hello first chapter!

(Ha! These last paragraphs reminded me and have me humming "None the Richer" by Sixpence.)

A tea cup and a paleo recipe

A pretty tea cup and dinner.

My fiance and I are trying to eat healthier and that to us means keeping processed foods away. A way that I make myself keep at it is by using pretty china to portion my food intake.


I got to thinking several days ago that tea cups aren't just for tea. They are also the perfect little bowl for soups, tiny salads, and fruits, you name it. A very close friend gifted me a china set. It was her thrift find and she knew that one, I would love the set and two, I would immediately make use of the china. I don't have the complete 6 piece set but I do have enough for four dinner sets. My closest friends always have a place at my dinner table.

Emeals: 30 minute recipes

However, before I can fill the cup with deliciousness I have to make the food. Every week we have a new set of dinner recipes, paleo inspired, that are provided by EMeals. Some recipes are a hit while others are blah. Yesterday, I once again made the Thai Curried Beef. I'm sure it's not close to the 'authentic' dish but I and my fiance do love the way it tastes. If anything, it's a good introduction to Thai cuisine. I doubled the recipe in order to have left overs for the rest of the week. What I really like about this recipe is that it does not need too many ingredients and that it cooks itself in the slow-cooker while I diligently work.  I don't seem to grow tired of this one recipe or of using my tea cups for more than just tea!

A repeat dish that requires the use of colorful and flavorful curry.

Reception Hall and DJ Rene

The wedding date is set! It's for next summer, a warm one I am sure but none-the-less, our warm summer wedding. It is set for June 14, 2014. We are beyond excited, the church venue is reserved as well as the reception area. I, most cannot believe it, did not want to have a reception. I was truly hoping for only a small ceremony with immediate family and the closest of friends. My arguments did not sway my fiance or my mother. My fiance loves parties and he wants this to be our big day. I'm my mother's only daughter. Trying to finish a PhD program is not an excuse, especially for such a significant day as our wedding day. And they are right, I will make it all happen with their help.

A small but beautiful hall.

My fiance suggested we have everything figured out before the semester begins for me and in a way we have. Most of the major details are figured out. Well, maybe not all but everything is falling into place. It's all about asking around, talking to family and friends about ideas as well as searching online for more neat ideas.

We've decided the wedding would be in my hometown and the reception in Vero Beach, Florida. It is far more affordable than if we had chosen a location in Fort Lauderdale. The reception will be held in the Vero Beach Heritage Center, a 1930's building that still has the original wood flooring and that survived a 1940s roof fire as well as tropical storms and hurricanes (Of course not all at the same time!).


And we've got a DJ! He is one of my cousin's uncles, from her other side of the family. He's in high demand in the Treasure Coast area: DJ Rene. Though DJ Rene and I are not directly related he personally knows many of my family since we're part of the same community. I have asked him to call everyone out if they're not up and dancing for the wedding next summer. He has obliged. Imagine having a DJ call out Uncle Joe for not partying like he did in his 20s? That's when you know you've found the right party master!

Picture perfect

An empty apartment preparing itself for a mountain of boxes.

It's been several months since my move to my new apartment and I'm still arranging and decorating. Moving can be a pain, but I have to admit that I enjoy the process of organizing and finding the perfect spot for things. Even if that means having to constantly move furniture around until I find the perfect arrangement. My other half tells me that that's my procrastination blanket--organizing; I dutifully stare at him blankly when he offers such perceptive comments. He's right. Organizing makes me feel like I have control of something, that I'm doing something productive when I'm not writing and am trying to get my research thoughts together. What can I say, organizing can be relaxing.

Ecuador, through my learning eyes.

Yesterday I framed some pictures I took during a study abroad program to Ecuador. I participated in this program many years ago. Seven years ago. I was a disaster arranging my picture frames, but somehow I made it work out. Everyone thankfully is drawn to the pictures and does not notice the slight measurement discrepancies. Well, at least that's what I would like to believe.